Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Realizing what I really like...

Today, it suddenly dawned on me that I really want to be in my field. Come to think of it, it has always been lingering in my mind - short of having the worst regret on staying in my current company. Everything just went into place - the plan, the timeline, everything. So here it is:
I asked my manager for a transfer to another project - a less stressful one. The timeline I gave him is that latest May, I should already have moved. Reason for this is that I really would like to finally pursue my MS degree next school year. I will not be able to be in a masters' school if I am still as stressed as I am right now. Now, I am just thinking if I will go to DLSU or UP-Diliman - that's something I will have to think about in the next months. Then there is the PMP certification exam that I am about to take by the end of this month. 
MS Degree, PMP Certification, actual project management experience topped by almost 8 years of work experience - all of these I hope will increase my chances of landing a high position in either the oil or manufacturing industry. I can't afford to go back to square one and settle for a merely starter's pay - not with my current responsibilities and, yes, lifestyle.
Now, how did my manager take this? Of course, not too well. He said he respects my decision and long term planning but it's rather obvious even in just an email that he's very disappointed. I know he already has plans for me in the project but it's just not what I want anymore. I can't find any reason to work anymore aside from having to earn a living. He setup a one-on-one meeting on October 15, more like giving me a few weeks to think about all of this. And this is where my weakness comes into place. I will have to pray to Him to enlighten me during the course of this reflection. I need to know fully if this is really what I want - no regrets or at least be prepared to accept the regrets that'll come.
In the end, this is somehow part of the process of finding myself. I have been so lost and it's about time to get back on track and be the Mervin that was 10 years ago - when all I knew and thought about was how to add to my achievements and accomplishments. It's about time to quit being complacent because this just not the real Mervin. 
May God help me in this struggle - that is my journey.

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